The Word is Lonely

The word is lonely, but to name it makes me feel sad. 

I am currently teaching Expository Writing II, completely online, this summer and the kids are not just not okay.  I am sure many educators have been realizing this as the 2020-2021 school year unfolded in all of shifts and changes and tragedies, but this summer is when I was able to see the effects of COVID on many students in black and white, in the writing they shared. 

We open the year with a unit on narrative and students read many short pieces and are prompted to write about a variety of topics, but they choose what they want to write about.  So many students shared how their lives changed completely this year, how their mental health is declining, how their schoolwork is suffering, how their parents have lost their jobs, how their family members have passed away-all related to COVID.  

These students are revealing their emotions to me and to their classmates, but in some instances, also to themselves.  And, this revelatory act of writing is what may also lead to healing.  

One student thanked me for this unit and for pushing him to consider his essay more carefully.  He wrote about how much football means to his life and how that ritual was taken from him suddenly.  He outlines how he was hopeful the season would resume, but how over time, he realized it would not.  Originally, he simply said how much it “sucked”.  I asked him to add more description and suggested that he describe what it felt like, sounded like, looked like when he was training. And, he did.  He wrote beautifully about the new form of training he took up at home: yoga, and equally as beautifully about what it felt like to train in the weight room, with his team, who he so desperately missed.  His revised essay was so much better, but it was the note at the bottom of it that will stay with me forever. 

He thanked me for the feedback because it allowed him to see that the way he actually felt was lonely.  He wrote that he originally thought it was anger, but after writing this essay, he can see that it is loneliness he felt.  He wrote that it even makes him sad to write the word lonely, but that is the feeling.  

This is the reason why writing instruction matters.  It allows us to process our thoughts and feelings and eventually name them.  Writing is not the end, but instead the beginning of our journey.  Naming is the first step in healing and understanding.  We can acknowledge where we are and what our story is when we write the words down, even if those words make us sad.

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